What no one told you about the dangers of house cleaning

A few days ago my daughter offered to change the sheets on my bed.  I had just brought up a clean set before I went on a trip, just in case the little one had an accident while I was away.  He didn’t but she offered to change them anyway.  I should have let her.

Earlier this week, I was changing the sheets.  We have a platform bed and a monstrous pillow top mattress that is very heavy.  I was lifting the mattress to get the fitted sheet underneath and twisted funny and the rest is history.  It didn’t start hurting immediately; rather it progressed throughout the day.  By night, I could hardly walk and the next day walking took an act of God.  I am not the “go to the doctor” type but the pain I was in could only be equivalated as labor pain.  Not only did my back hurt but the pain went to my hips, groin, thighs, and knees.  According to the doctor, I had nerve damage. 

I took Home Economics in junior high school and they never said anything about hurting yourself doing household chores.  My doctor said he sees this kind of thing all the time; no one does serious damage in a more respectable way. 

Of course, now I get to spend most of my time sitting around on the couch.  I have a million things that I would rather be doing.  The secret is that none of those things are things that I would be doing IF I were not grounded to the couch.  I need to clean the windows and paint my window trim and sills, the ceiling needs to be painted, I have plants that need to be planted, the carpet needs to be shampooed, I need to organize the basement, I have paperwork to file there is laundry that needs to be done, shopping I should do, and for some reason I REALLY want to run.  When I am not forced to sit on the couch and relax I wish I could JUST sit on the couch and relax.  It is funny how that works.

I have also been forced to allow and expect others to do for me what I cannot do.  My sister was here for the first couple days of this and was great with helping clean up and take care of the kid.  I now have to depend on my daughter to wait on me and do the things that need to be done.  The problem with that is when and if I ask for something to be done; I want it done…NOW.  I can wait a moment of two but after that I just get angry and end up doing it myself.  This is why I struggle so much with allowing others to help me and one of my major flaws.  I try not to get disappointed and angry but it is just easier to do things myself that way I can only be upset with myself.

Plain. And. Simple.

I have learned that one can learn a lot from watching TV and it is no secret that in my free time, I watch a lot of it.  I am not talking about Jersey Shore or Ed, Edd, and Eddy, though I am sure there is some lesson to be learned from shows like that, probably to finish high school and make something of yourself, but that is another post.   It isn’t as if I am watching top rated foreign films or documentaries, but I do watch things that engage my thoughts, and there is a little something to be said about night time dramas or dare I refer to them as soap operas.

Tonight for instance, I was watching a show that made me think about relationships.  This particular episode was between friends, but more like the kind of friend you think of as the family you choose and not the "fair weather friend".  Friend “A” was being very secretive and going through a very difficult, morally questionable time, if you knew both sides of the story.  Often times we are only privy to one side of the story or a partial side of two stories and we tend to take sides quickly and hastily, maybe that is why we aren't able to have more unconditional relationships.  But, what surprised me and made me think a little more about relationships was that friend “B” simply told friend “A” that she was there for them, whenever they needed to talk.  Plain. And. Simple. 

How often do we find ourselves in a relationship that isn’t plain and simple?  That the love/friendship isn’t unconditional?  A relationship certainly should be easy; it shouldn’t be so much work and if it is when do you decide to let that person live in your heart by not in your life?

You know, I had a friendship that was like that--Plain. And. Simple.  Until it wasn’t.  It became not plain and not simple for friend “A” to remain in the same state of friendship as I, I could be bitter but I'm not.  When friend “A” decides that things can go back to the way that they were, I will be here for them whenever they need to talk.  There will be no judgment, no resentment, no anger, just me-being here or there.  The best part is I know that friend “A” knows this, one day they will pick up the phone, send an email or smoke signal and I will just be “there”, we will pick up just as we left it.

This may sound somewhat vain of me to say, and I don’t intend it to, but in my case, friend “A” is lucky.  I have encountered many people in my life that are a LOT of work.  They may walk the walk and talk the talk but at the end of the day if you don’t comply with their expectations you better believe you will have some ‘splaining to do, or better yet, they will blame you.  Out the window just went Plain. And. Simple. 

Life got much easier for me once I started accepting that people were the way they were and you either accept it or you move on.  Some people I have moved on from, some, I keep at arms length and some are just others.  I have decided that at the end of the day I may only have a handful of people and I am okay with that, some are here because I have chosen them and they have chosen me, some are here because we are bound by blood and others are here because they were just meant to be.

What I am giving up for Lent

I am not Catholic.  I am not especially religious.  I believe in God but I believe I can worship God from the comfort of my own home without any of the hypocrisy that comes with going to Church, that is a totally different post.  Today, Fat Tuesday, we hear about "giving something up for Lent".  This year I am giving up something very near and dear to my heart.  Watch out people it is a doosey.

I am giving up my rose colored glasses.

My life is like entering a 3D movie, you stand in line, you purchase your tickets and before you enter you get your special, yet ugly 3D glasses; except in my case you get “rose colored glasses”.  Nothing exciting happens when you put them on, there are no cool special effects, the special effects are in the eye of the wearer.

I have struggled for months with this ideology that there are people and/or circumstances in my life that are different than what they really are.  I want so badly to believe that some people and things are the way that they appear as they do with my special glasses, that I throw all reason out the window.  In the end the joke is ultimately on me.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a victim, those of us that wear these glasses do so knowingly.  We give it the guise that we see the "good" in people, in circumstances, in situations when really we are seeing what we WANT to see rather than what truly is. 

R-E-L-A-X

So yesterday I was treated to a day of "relaxation" at a somewhat local spa.  Sounds great right?  It was- minus my own ability to be able to actually RELAX! I learned that I can add yet another thing to the growing list of things I am not good at...singing, dancing, (OMG the dancing) aerobics, okay, basically anything that takes talent and coordination, but now I get to add something that takes neither talent nor coordination, RELAXATION!

Here I am on the massage table, calming music, dimmed lights, candles, I am face down on a heated pad and there is a nice soft warm sheet on top of me and a warm comfy blanket over that, my face is in that little hole and guess what pops into my head?  If you guessed the episode of "Friends" in which Rachel is getting a massage by Phoebe at the massage place that Phoebe 'claims' to hate you are correct!  I notice the therapists shoes (tennis shoes in case you are wondering) and whether or not her hands are tired yet!?  I start thinking about what it must be like to be a massage therapist and how it might not be very enjoyable depending on your client.  At some point I think about how the world has gone wrong, *laugh out loud here*.  All in all, it was a nice morning, I learned that my right shoulder and my upper back are very tight and I should consider getting massages more often, I have a Paypal account if anyone is interested in donating to my muscle health, please email me for more information.  During my very first pedicure I learned that I take very good care of my feet and  I also picked out my pedicurist/manicurist favorite color of nail polish...I bet she tells everyone that!

When I am done I realize that in the rush to get myself and my Mini Man out the door I have failed to eat, it is one o'clock.  So, I head to the nearest town that has a Chick Fil A, the only fast food I will eat and I order a bowl of their chicken tortilla soup and head to Walmart in the same little shopping area.  Normally I have said Mini Man in tow so any shopping trip is done at break neck speed.  I follow the list, generally in my head and quite unreliable and do very little "browsing".  I believe I heard them order security (oh my, just heard Angela Johnson from Mad TV) to follow me through the store.  I must have looked like a deer caught in headlights, I think I touched most everything I went past.  Who knew there were SO many brands of shampoo?  Inevitably I got the kind that matches our current conditioner because God knows I have to match.

...I work out (yeah, you know you are singing!)

I have recently started to really work out. Just to make it clear, I despise working out, I mean I loathe working out. I would rather sit comfortably on my couch, snuggled up under a blanket reading a book, surfing the net or watching TV.  The past 6+ months I have made watching TV a lifeline; I immerse myself into a show and it is my daily escape from reality. For years I have claimed to have a little baby belly left. Considering my "mini man" just turned four I think that belly is a horse of another color. Call it what you will, couch belly, sofa belly, wine and cheese belly, it is jiggly belly all the same. A few months ago I had a very handy friend design, make and install a shelf for my computer that is directly in front of my treadmill.   It went unused for a while before I decided I wanted it moved to the other side of the gym, and now it not only holds my computer but it also serves as a reminder to pay close attention when entering the room as it has very sharp corners and is at head level and could be the need for a call to 9-1-1.   (Note to self, teach son how to call for help.)

I saw on Pinterest (yet another vice that not only gives me tons of ideas for crafty home projects, food, health/exercise routines but sucks time like a vampire sucks blood) that in order to lose unwanted baby belly you should exercise before you eat in the morning so you have to burn fat.  All this week I have been getting out of bed and getting my child and dogs situated with nourishment and then hit the treadmill.  Makes sense right? I will keep you posted. 

Who cares what I have to say?

It occurred to me that it is out of my comfort zone to have a public blog that anyone can read. I am a private person and don't share myself or my thoughts very freely. I have considered who might be reading this and wonder why they care what I have to say; it is kind of scary and not something I really think I should ponder, otherwise this would be my last entry.  Mostly though, I decided to blog for something to do.  I have been late on all the fun technology, I got on MySpace just before Facebook was mainstream and God forbid I "Tweet", I am not sure I will ever understand the whole Twitter thing. 

A Title Change?

Perhaps I should change the name of my blog to "Her Monthly Expression" I could strategically post at certain 'times' thus exonerating myself from any thing I may say that could be offensive or otherwise damaging. That is the silver lining of being a woman, when all else fails you have the God given ability to blame "that time of the month". I kid, I kid, I can honestly say I have never used, as Cher puts it in the movie Clueless, "riding the crimson wave" as a defense for bad behavior but it sure sounds tempting from time to time.

Football for thought

I don't follow football.  I have been told I live in "Raven's Country" however, on football Sunday's I am the only person in the grocery store not wearing a jersey haha.  I did not grow up around football as a matter of fact, until recently my mother loathed football.  It wasn't until I got married that I was introduced to what it was like being involved in the game.  At first, I too, loathed football Sunday's, they took away from precious family time but then, I learned to embrace football Sunday's and I used the time to nap, shop, and hang out with my girlfriends.  Now that I am no longer married to a football fanatic, it once again is not an issue in my life.


Today my Facebook feed is littered with anti "Tebow" comments.  As I crawl out from under this rock that shields me from all that is football I can proudly say that even I know who Tim Tebow is.  Granted, I couldn't tell you what position plays or what team he plays for, but I could tell you that his being here on earth is a miracle.  I have read his story, or at least parts of it and it is moving for those who are pro life and could even bring someone that is pro choice, like myself, to seriously consider the bigger picture.  (Of course, on a side note I also take into consideration who his parents are so the bigger picture becomes a little skewed.) 


On to my point, I swear, I have one.  If I were to have to cheer for a team, it would be "anyone that is playing against the Eagles".  I know, I know, Michael Vick has "paid his debt" to society, blah blah blah.  And yes, on some days and definitely with some people, I will openly admit to liking animals over people; however, Michael Vick in my opinion, is the scum of the earth.  I have seen what he did and it is despicable.  It  has nothing to do with the color of his skin, I would be equally mortified if he were caucasian. (Is that the politically correct term?)  I would equally be disgusted if he played for Baltimore or Atlanta.  I realize that there are criminal's out there playing football and if I knew their stories I probably wouldn't like those teams either, yet when I express my disgust against Vick, it is because of his race or that I don't care about people.  So, should I assume that all the "Tebow Hater's" dislike God?  Honestly, I assume that it is more the "hype" but since I get ragged on about Vick because of race and animals (I really hate the "they are JUST animals" comment) I just wonder how it would go over to assume that people dislike Tebow because of his love of God.

It's not me, it's you

It is the first day of a fresh new year.  Typically we tend to make New Year’s Resolutions; there are the old standbys like a new diet, quitting smoking or drinking, exercising more, finding God…so it is no surprise that circling on Facebook was an article about “3o things to stop doing to yourself”.  The first suggestion was to “stop spending time with the wrong people”.  Finally, we are going against the old cliché “it’s not you, it’s me”; now we are saying “it’s not me, it’s you”.  I like to think I was ahead of the curve on this one.