R-E-L-A-X

So yesterday I was treated to a day of "relaxation" at a somewhat local spa.  Sounds great right?  It was- minus my own ability to be able to actually RELAX! I learned that I can add yet another thing to the growing list of things I am not good at...singing, dancing, (OMG the dancing) aerobics, okay, basically anything that takes talent and coordination, but now I get to add something that takes neither talent nor coordination, RELAXATION!

Here I am on the massage table, calming music, dimmed lights, candles, I am face down on a heated pad and there is a nice soft warm sheet on top of me and a warm comfy blanket over that, my face is in that little hole and guess what pops into my head?  If you guessed the episode of "Friends" in which Rachel is getting a massage by Phoebe at the massage place that Phoebe 'claims' to hate you are correct!  I notice the therapists shoes (tennis shoes in case you are wondering) and whether or not her hands are tired yet!?  I start thinking about what it must be like to be a massage therapist and how it might not be very enjoyable depending on your client.  At some point I think about how the world has gone wrong, *laugh out loud here*.  All in all, it was a nice morning, I learned that my right shoulder and my upper back are very tight and I should consider getting massages more often, I have a Paypal account if anyone is interested in donating to my muscle health, please email me for more information.  During my very first pedicure I learned that I take very good care of my feet and  I also picked out my pedicurist/manicurist favorite color of nail polish...I bet she tells everyone that!

When I am done I realize that in the rush to get myself and my Mini Man out the door I have failed to eat, it is one o'clock.  So, I head to the nearest town that has a Chick Fil A, the only fast food I will eat and I order a bowl of their chicken tortilla soup and head to Walmart in the same little shopping area.  Normally I have said Mini Man in tow so any shopping trip is done at break neck speed.  I follow the list, generally in my head and quite unreliable and do very little "browsing".  I believe I heard them order security (oh my, just heard Angela Johnson from Mad TV) to follow me through the store.  I must have looked like a deer caught in headlights, I think I touched most everything I went past.  Who knew there were SO many brands of shampoo?  Inevitably I got the kind that matches our current conditioner because God knows I have to match.

...I work out (yeah, you know you are singing!)

I have recently started to really work out. Just to make it clear, I despise working out, I mean I loathe working out. I would rather sit comfortably on my couch, snuggled up under a blanket reading a book, surfing the net or watching TV.  The past 6+ months I have made watching TV a lifeline; I immerse myself into a show and it is my daily escape from reality. For years I have claimed to have a little baby belly left. Considering my "mini man" just turned four I think that belly is a horse of another color. Call it what you will, couch belly, sofa belly, wine and cheese belly, it is jiggly belly all the same. A few months ago I had a very handy friend design, make and install a shelf for my computer that is directly in front of my treadmill.   It went unused for a while before I decided I wanted it moved to the other side of the gym, and now it not only holds my computer but it also serves as a reminder to pay close attention when entering the room as it has very sharp corners and is at head level and could be the need for a call to 9-1-1.   (Note to self, teach son how to call for help.)

I saw on Pinterest (yet another vice that not only gives me tons of ideas for crafty home projects, food, health/exercise routines but sucks time like a vampire sucks blood) that in order to lose unwanted baby belly you should exercise before you eat in the morning so you have to burn fat.  All this week I have been getting out of bed and getting my child and dogs situated with nourishment and then hit the treadmill.  Makes sense right? I will keep you posted. 

Who cares what I have to say?

It occurred to me that it is out of my comfort zone to have a public blog that anyone can read. I am a private person and don't share myself or my thoughts very freely. I have considered who might be reading this and wonder why they care what I have to say; it is kind of scary and not something I really think I should ponder, otherwise this would be my last entry.  Mostly though, I decided to blog for something to do.  I have been late on all the fun technology, I got on MySpace just before Facebook was mainstream and God forbid I "Tweet", I am not sure I will ever understand the whole Twitter thing. 

A Title Change?

Perhaps I should change the name of my blog to "Her Monthly Expression" I could strategically post at certain 'times' thus exonerating myself from any thing I may say that could be offensive or otherwise damaging. That is the silver lining of being a woman, when all else fails you have the God given ability to blame "that time of the month". I kid, I kid, I can honestly say I have never used, as Cher puts it in the movie Clueless, "riding the crimson wave" as a defense for bad behavior but it sure sounds tempting from time to time.

Football for thought

I don't follow football.  I have been told I live in "Raven's Country" however, on football Sunday's I am the only person in the grocery store not wearing a jersey haha.  I did not grow up around football as a matter of fact, until recently my mother loathed football.  It wasn't until I got married that I was introduced to what it was like being involved in the game.  At first, I too, loathed football Sunday's, they took away from precious family time but then, I learned to embrace football Sunday's and I used the time to nap, shop, and hang out with my girlfriends.  Now that I am no longer married to a football fanatic, it once again is not an issue in my life.


Today my Facebook feed is littered with anti "Tebow" comments.  As I crawl out from under this rock that shields me from all that is football I can proudly say that even I know who Tim Tebow is.  Granted, I couldn't tell you what position plays or what team he plays for, but I could tell you that his being here on earth is a miracle.  I have read his story, or at least parts of it and it is moving for those who are pro life and could even bring someone that is pro choice, like myself, to seriously consider the bigger picture.  (Of course, on a side note I also take into consideration who his parents are so the bigger picture becomes a little skewed.) 


On to my point, I swear, I have one.  If I were to have to cheer for a team, it would be "anyone that is playing against the Eagles".  I know, I know, Michael Vick has "paid his debt" to society, blah blah blah.  And yes, on some days and definitely with some people, I will openly admit to liking animals over people; however, Michael Vick in my opinion, is the scum of the earth.  I have seen what he did and it is despicable.  It  has nothing to do with the color of his skin, I would be equally mortified if he were caucasian. (Is that the politically correct term?)  I would equally be disgusted if he played for Baltimore or Atlanta.  I realize that there are criminal's out there playing football and if I knew their stories I probably wouldn't like those teams either, yet when I express my disgust against Vick, it is because of his race or that I don't care about people.  So, should I assume that all the "Tebow Hater's" dislike God?  Honestly, I assume that it is more the "hype" but since I get ragged on about Vick because of race and animals (I really hate the "they are JUST animals" comment) I just wonder how it would go over to assume that people dislike Tebow because of his love of God.

It's not me, it's you

It is the first day of a fresh new year.  Typically we tend to make New Year’s Resolutions; there are the old standbys like a new diet, quitting smoking or drinking, exercising more, finding God…so it is no surprise that circling on Facebook was an article about “3o things to stop doing to yourself”.  The first suggestion was to “stop spending time with the wrong people”.  Finally, we are going against the old cliché “it’s not you, it’s me”; now we are saying “it’s not me, it’s you”.  I like to think I was ahead of the curve on this one.